I Like You…as a Friend
"I like you as a friend." Crap.
"I like you as a friend." Never has a more emasculating phrase ever been uttered by a woman to a man. Once you're cast as "The Friend", you'll never get out of that role, and you can kiss any chance of ever having sex with her goodbye. It's like she's saying "I like you, but you're not a man. I see you as a child, as a woman, or at best…a homosexual." That's right: You've gone from imagining yourself as her manly stud to being her gay friend; from a mighty stallion to a pack mule with which she wants to go shoe shopping. From…well, you get the idea.
A woman I was attracted to recently said that to me. "I like you as a friend." Why would she think I wanted to hear that? Men don't take that as a compliment; we see it as a failure…and a massive one at that. What did she think: That I was writing her poetry and asking her out because I wanted to be friends? That men chase women because they just want a pal to hang out with? Sure, that explains why so many married people are unhappy: The guy wasn't looking for a wife; he just wanted a new buddy.
"I like you as a friend." Why would I want to spend time with her after hearing that? Does she think that I can sit there and listen to her talk about the other guys that she's been intimate with and not feel like I'm being left out? Or is it her intention to torture me by talking about having sex with everyone and everything but me? Worse yet, when she saw how disappointed I was, she tried to console me "You're a great guy…" she added, "…any woman would be happy to have you. I don't mean me…I mean other women." It's like being kicked in the nuts when you're doubled over from having just been kicked in the nuts. "Stop trying to comfort me…" I pleaded, "I've had enough!"
"I like you as a friend." Man, I'd rather hear a woman say "Sorry, I'm not interested", or "I hate your guts". Hell, I'd even prefer "You're ugly and you smell bad"…at least that way it's clear that we're not compatible, and we go our separate ways. But "I like you as a friend"…what does that even mean? It's more like "I'll spend time with you for a while, until I meet what I consider to be a real man", because in the end, that's what's going to happen. As soon as she meet someone she's attracted to, you'll lose contact with her. Until she breaks up with him that is, and calls you out of boredom.
"I like you as a friend." Men don't say that to women, and do you know why? Because a man won't waste his time being friends with a woman that he can't have sex with. If he tells a woman he's "just a friend", it really means he's "just waiting"…waiting for a chance to have sex with her, that is. He's waiting for a chance to be at the right place at the right time, or just for her to break up with her current boyfriend, at which point he can be the "rebound guy". Technically, that's not being a friend…it's more like being a vulture waiting for a meal. Yeah…I've done that.
A man can play many roles in a woman's life, and I've played a few…including being the guy who had to climb out the window because her husband came home early from work (the trick is to put all your clothes in one pile, so you can toss them out ahead of you). But when you're interested in a woman, attracted to her, compelled to be with her, and she only sees you as "platonic friend"…well, there's no role more frustrating and annoying. The friendship is doomed to failure, as is any relationship when the two parties involved don't have similar goals. It's time to cut your losses and walk away while you still have some shred of dignity (assuming you didn't burst into tears when she told you).
"I like you as a friend?" Sorry, no thanks. Maybe you can find a gay guy who can help you. As I prefer to be respected, I'm going to move on to the next one…