Slo-yota: Oh, What a Feeling
I was driving up highway 15 north out of Montreal the other day on the way to pick up my son. The traffic was light and I was making good time, keeping it just under 120 kilometers per hour, like most others on the road with me, to avoid getting pulled over by the "Sûreté du Québec" (the speed limit is 100 but the police let us get away with an extra 20 kph, given that most people speed a little bit anyway). I had to slow down my pace when I noticed some traffic up ahead, with cars swerving out of the middle lane, both to the left and to the right. As I approached, I could see what was causing people to make these sudden evasive maneuvers: A dark grey, four-door Toyota Echo, with the driver perched slightly forward on his seat, both hands on the wheel, eyes fixed in front, oblivious to anything around him and the mess he was causing behind him.
The Toyota Echo (formerly the Tercel and now replaced by the new version, the Yaris), was doing about 80 in the middle lane, and being caught behind it reminded me of an old Toyota slogan: "Oh, what a feeling", such is the frustration that car evokes in me…not to mention the involuntary obscenities. It was an Echo slowing everyone down, but it might as well have been its bigger brother, the Toyota Corolla. These "Slo-yotas" must be causing more incidents of road rage than all other car models combined. It's unbelievable, but it seems that every time there's a slow driver in the middle lane instead of the right lane where he should be (see Driving 101), it's one of these two cars. It happens so often, it couldn't be sheer coincidence…there must be something that brings these cars and these drivers together, and places them in my path to slow me down and cause me so much grief that I'm compelled to write about them.
Could the problem lie with the vehicles themselves? While these cars have small engines, designed for economy rather than acceleration, they are capable of speeds in excess of 100 kph, so it certainly isn't the car's fault. Most are not twenty year old models either, they're new or relatively new, so it's not a matter of the car being in a state of disrepair. No, it must be the driver. But what would draw people who drive like this to these particular models of car? Why not a Honda, or a Nissan, or any of the American sub-compacts?
My theory is that these people are not like the rest of us drivers. These are people who don't like to drive, don't want to know how to drive properly, don't believe in owning cars and hate the consequences that cars have on the environment. The only reason they're driving is that they have no choice: They're going somewhere where there's either no public transportation available, or what is available is really inconvenient or doesn't fit their schedule. They are forced to drive against their wills and beliefs, and so choose the cheapest and most economical car possible: a subcompact. The reason they go to Toyota is that a Toyota has the reputation of being reliable, and as these people know nothing about cars and their maintenance, reliability is a must.
Once at the dealership, some find the Echo to be too small for their needs, and go to the slightly larger Corolla. As they age (old people like big cars for some reason…) they may eventually graduate to the Camry, which explains all those old and slow Camry drivers.
The reason they hog the middle of three lanes when they should keep to the right given the slow speed they're driving is that they are so unaccustomed to driving that they don't want to constantly change lanes when the occasional traffic is merging on to the highway. They squat in the middle lane, driving their cars at a snail's pace, and driving everyone else up the wall, from the time they enter the highway until just before their exit. They don't even notice the mayhem behind them, nor would they care if they did. Their feelings of self-righteousness ("I'm doing MY part for the environment") is how they justify going so slow, and they're not going to change because of a few dirty looks or raised fingers. I feel like yelling out to them: "It's an ECHO…one of the most economical cars on the road! How slow do you have to go? How much more fuel economy do you need? Just keep up with the traffic, or at least get out of the way!" Aaarrgghh!
One funny note though: It's always the four door sedan version of the Echo, and not the hatchback. The way I figure it, the hatchback is more popular with younger drivers who are looking for economy and versatility (it's easier to fit a bike in the back), and these drivers are more like you and I. The "I Just Need a Car to Go from Point A to Point B" drivers seem to just go for the basic car, and in a basic dark color…no reds or yellows for them, just blue or grey.
Well, I finally made it to my destination, picked up my son, and headed back home. As the Echo is a very popular car, I knew it was inevitable that we'd be slowed down by one eventually, and I was right…this one was blue, with what could have been the previous Echo driver's twin sister behind the wheel. I had to watch my language now, as my son is only four and I don't want him to start imitating my swearing and hand gestures. All I can do is take a deep breath, signal my desire to change lanes, wait for an opening, and pass her by, shaking my head and muttering with clenched teeth: "Slo-yota…"